Judging: Fear of doing something you don't want to

One day you meet this person going bowling.  Over time you go bowling more often and become friends with this individual.  The person seems like a great individual; kind, good sense of humor, helpful, etc.  Then you find out that they are really good at bowling because they are the child of the evil super villain 'Red Velvet' who is not such a great fellow (super villains are secretly really good at bowling).  With this new information you suddenly have these new feelings of breaking said friendship all because of the father's tarnished reputation.  The person seems nothing like the father but you can't shake these feelings to run the other way.  You know that judging someone by a completely different person's actions is foolish.  Even though you know this you fear that you don't have the strength to NOT let it get in the way; that it will come up in a conversation and you will eventually 'burn a bridge.'

"Uh your dad is an evil super villain, how do you feel about that?"  Not really a good conversation topic.

Obviously this would never happen because I just made up the super villain Red Velvet, but have you ever had this feeling?  Fearing that you will do something, even though you know it's not right?  For example, like judging someone unfairly without even knowing them.  All my life I have been taught to treat people equally; to give everyone a chance and the benefit of the doubt, and I make an effort to do this.  Then I learn something about someone and it has the chance of affecting the relationship I have with them, if I let it.  From all my experiences with them I see the person is nice, kind, and good, but if I didn't know this one piece of information, that's not necessarily about them but involves them, then I wouldn't second guess my friendship.

Sometimes I truly think ignorance is bliss, because they haven't done anything wrong and they absolutely DO NOT deserve to be treated poorly.  No one does.  That's what I fear, treating someone poorly who doesn't deserve it.  Don't misunderstand, I avoid even getting close to being unkind to others.  I only hope that if I have done it that I have apologized and made amends.

May we all do a little better about learning about a person, truly, before burning bridges, because some chasms only get deeper and longer with time.

Repentance: When is it too late?

I was writing an email to my brother and was talking about how it feels good when you see people make good decisions, but sad when you see them choose not to.  Another way to put this is the feeling parents have while watching their kids grow up, or as I've experienced being an educator and seeing some students choose to succeed while others choose not to.  Anyway, I mentioned the sad part to him, but to be hopeful I started monologuing about how "there's always an opportunity for them to choose in the future."  That phrase got me thinking, how much time do we/others actually have to repent?

Putting any specific religion aside, I think we all hope that there is salvation for us, or if you prefer to think we're all doomed, I respect that; to each their own.  But for those of us "glass half-full-ers" I'm sincerely curious about this idea of repentance and when God, as the mediator of our life-test, says "Okay, time is up.  Stop praying, put your scriptures down, and wait for your test to be graded."

I expect that the opinions on this topic are many and varied.  Maybe we only have while we're here on earth to repent; maybe we have until the millenium; maybe we have 5 years after we die.  I don't know!  Trying to figure that mystery out just seems confusing.  So let's go to basics.  Scriptures say God is the same yesterday, today, and forever; that God is merciful; that even he follows rules of justice (hence the need for an atonement and a savior, someone to give his life for his friends).

Here's what I choose to think.  Knowing that God is merciful, that he cares about us, that he has indeed provided an atonement through his son Jesus Christ, I'd like to think that if a person is willing to confess and forsake their sins, and seek God, then they will be forgiven.  When can they not do that anymore?  Honestly, I don't think there is a limit.  "But Frans, what you just said means that we can do whatever we want and then repent of it later.  That can't be fair/true."

You're completely right, but here is the kicker.  My personal opinion is this, someone that truly chooses to be wicked will NOT choose to repent.  It wouldn't be what they really want.  For example let's say someone really wicked is admitted into heaven,  "What in the world are they doing there?" you think, but the people in heaven aren't worried.  Why?  Because sooner or later this person will either choose good (we can hope) or they will feel SO uncomfortable being around truly good people that they will leave and go to where they are comfortable, a place with a warmer atmosphere, and not the cuddly welcoming warm.

I mean, from an LDS view, we do ordinances for the dead, believing that this gives these people the opportunity to choose good; they are not forced but can choose to accept or reject the ordinance.  Why would we do this unless we believe there is always an opportunity to choose good?  So those are my thoughts about time for repentance, that there is always an opportunity open, it just depends on the individual.

If you have thoughts please share.  But I kind of feel like this is one of those potentially heated topics, where opinions vary and feelings may be hurt, so I ask that if you comment to be respectful.  Thanks! :)