In LDS society (or Mormon culture) there is a high emphasis on marriage; we believe that in order to receive the highest degree of glory in Heaven we must marry and have children of our own - following the example of God (meaning we believe in a Heavenly Mother as well). So what I'm tying to say without sounding stupid is I think a lot about girls, dating, relationships, and marriage (hopefully all in that order).
Now as far as the world is concerned I haven't had too many girlfriends (4 to be exact). Reason being is I would rather have few meaningful relationships than having many meaningless ones. But from these experiences I have noticed a trend; one that applies to me, and maybe others. I have noticed that when relationships end that they result in one of two scenarios - friend or foe. Regrettably for me it's usually foe; I think it's primarily about forgiveness but that's another topic.
So because of this (friend or foe situation) I think I have developed a fear of relationships. I don't fear the hugging or kissing (come on, that's one of the best parts right?) and I don't fear the idea of having someone you can always talk to. What I fear is what happens when it doesn't work out. I do my best to live in a peaceful state, so naturally I don't like having ill feelings about someone or from someone. So when it comes to liking a new girl then I have a REALLY hard time making a move and taking a risk because I usually really enjoy being their friend and I don't want to jeopardize that in any way; I don't want to destroy my friendships all because I'm looking to find a companion I can spend the rest of my life with.
What I haven't mentioned is that I have become friends again with one of these past girlfriends. It took many many years of not communicating to get to that point. But I guess the message to take way from this is that it is possible to become friends again. It may take some time, time that will be full of silence from a once filled portion of the heart, but all wounds heal, and someday that void may be ready to be filled once again. So take courage with you and overcome your fear - forgiveness is possible.
